Sunday, May 16, 2010

Forty Six & 2 - Tool

I am the master of my fate!

I know my weaknesses. They are getting worse. I have not been training my strengths so the weakness is filling the vacuum as strengths retrieve out to the see while I am boggled with ordinary life issues. But in less than two months, I have made changes, and I will pave my way through based on those changes. The most difficult thing to change is the mind wired with biological needs. This has been an issue over last nine years and I was unable to provide sufficient solution.
The temporary solution is to invite "god" in my apartment which I have already did. It's on the way and will be in my apartment by July.

How can I have a better control over my thinking? After all I am the captain of my soul.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Day 39: Competition is what I need

I was wondering how and why I was pulled and pushed myself so hard before. One of the factors for unburning drive is unquestionably the competition. Competition makes us to wake up earlier than others do and sleep later than most of the people do. If there was no competition, a semi-quality lifestyle would have taken over the world. I am sure about that.

BIG SHORT p.36
An afternoon can fly by or it can take 5 hours. Like you probably do, I productively fill the gaps that most people leave as dead time. My drive to be productive probably cost me my first marriage and a few days ago almost cost me my fiancee. Before I went to college the military had this "we do more before 9 am than most people do all dday" and I used to think that I do more than the military. As you know there are some select people that just find a drive in certain activities that supersedes EVERYTHING else.


That's right baby, I wanna do more than the military. In last 39 days, I have implemented more changes in myself than in last 3 years. I have let almost everybody out of "bus" now. Bought an apartment on long term debt and made super-repair before moving out on this Sunday. Participated in a government working group as a secretary to influence the major changes in the capital market. Have not drunk more than a bottle of beer in a single week for last five weeks.
The most importantly, I am going to buy an erg (a god to me since no one can beat it) from USA. It's gonna take two months to ship it out here. Once shipped I will presume my rigorous practices. The constant practice is a secret alley to reach perseverance as I have recently found out although I have not reached there yet myself. maybe never will reach there but I have to try.

The reason why I am pouring out everything on this blog is that environment where I am is not competitive enough or not driven enough. So all that drive, I have to come up by myself and it must come from inside. Otherwise I will adopt the slow pace and will burn down without a cause. But I do have a cause, and I will not gonna burn down. We are different breed and we will go an extra mile!

Chingis khaan asked his assistant to remind Chingis of the existence of Golden Empire. Similiarly I will remind myself every morning of the existence of better competitors trying harder I do in getting the final prize. Oh, what's the final prize btw?